Warning: As befits its date of posting, what you are about to read is 100% false. We hope that you enjoyed our (second) momentary lapse into April Foolery. Normal service will now be resumed.
From next Sunday, a new church bell system will be installed in St Peter’s church, replacing our existing set-up.
Taking full advantage of Internet technology, the new system will allow us to download bell patterns from a central database of over 10,000 “ring tones”, thus removing the need for manual intervention.
As Christopher Harrison says, “With such a wide range of ring tones available, including many much loved “tracks” from the “hit parade”, I see this as a great opportunity to bring Parwich church into the 21st century.”
To mark the occasion, we are asking readers of PARWICH.ORG to help select the inaugural ring tone for Sunday morning. Please take a look at the list below (as selected by members of the PCC), and vote for your favourite in the comments box.
The tone which picks up the most votes by the end of today will be “ringing out” over Parwich on Sunday morning, on our new “state of the art” 20,000 Watt sound system.
(To help you make your selections, click on each song name to listen.)
Option 1: You’re Beautiful (James Blunt)
Option 2: When You Believe (Leon Jackson)
Option 3: Shine (Take That)
Option 4: Never Gonna Give You Up (Rick Astley)
Option 5: Axel F (Crazy Frog)
Option 6: Won’t Get Fooled Again (The Who)
PARWICH.ORG 
Parwich church is, as always, among the pioneers in matters ecclesiastical. I am today approaching the diocesan authorities for fast track approval of our proposals, and, going by fast experience, we should expect to have faculty permission in place by April 1st 2009.
PARWICH.ORG would like to cast its collective vote for the deeply spiritual melody of the “Crazy Frog”. What more rousing call to worship could there be?
Indeed, we confidently predict that its dulcet (yet professionally amplified) tones will inspire many a heartfelt private prayer, across the length and breadth of the village. Sunday mornings may never be the same again!
Please, please tell me that the entire thing is just an April Fools comedy moment.
The entire concept is just shudder-inducing!
Oprion 6 it is then – meet the new boss – same as the old boss……..how prophetic at Easter time!
Actually as one who hears every last note of the church bells of a Sunday, option 2 would be a nice change!
…whereas looking at the number of “clicks” that each option has received, Option 1 is our clear leader.
I think it’s a great pity that some Gregorian chant isn’t one of the options. At least that’s possible with the present carillion (which we will clearly have to auction on Ebay to raise money for the ring tones technology. But again, I suppose the cost will depend on how many we want to download).
The Archdeacon of Derby, whom I told about the site, requesting faculty permission, told me that the Chancellor of the diocese (who grants such things) would no doubt be in touch.
This one could ring and ring …
I don’t know, I go away for a few days……………
Further to my comment above – I have now received a faculty application form for the new system, sent by the Diocesan Office, along with a list of dates of meetings at which our application can be considered. Did the secretary to the committee really believe us, I wonder .. ? Or maybe this is the direction in which they want rural churches to go ..
I have just had an embarrassed email from the Diocesan Office saying that yes, they were well and truly April fooled … in their defence, they said that they hadn’t thought this kind of system was very typical of Parwich!