Multi-disciplined and top UK athlete Roberto Buntingo will hit the headlines of tomorrow morning’s Beijing News. This exclusive photo was apparently taken at the secret Buntingo training camp of our infamous Parwich pentathelete who is currently preparing for the mixed doubles synchronised grinning event at Beijing 2008.
Unfortunately Buntingo was unavailable for comment last night, but questions have to be asked. Why is his photo being linked with the Moral Education page of this top newspaper? Will this jeopardise his chances of a gold medal? Translations of this page are being urgently sort – can you help?
PARWICH.ORG 
At least we can be reassured that Roberto is not turning pro and depriving the Beijing audiences of his prowess.
Oh my word! This is serious stuff. Being fluent in mandolin I have grave news for fans of the great (sic) Roberto.
The publication in question “Moral Education” is reporting Roberto’s questionable antics in a swimming pool with Ming-Ing – a 24 year old Schezuan swimming instructress and part time lap dancer. Apparently when the great Roberto was questioned over the questionable morality of such a public performance with a woman of dubious repute, he responded “Look – I spend 5 days a week sat on the M25, how I choose to spend my free time is a private matter, now go sling yer hook, fish face!”.
I am sure there are Buntingo fans countrywide who are going to be devasted by the sad depths of depravity our hero is plumbing these days.
Truly a sad day for Buntingo fans.
How are the mighty fallen……..