PARWICH.ORG

Many may be UNDERWEAR that the crown green bowling season is reaching its’ final fortnight, but there are in fact only two games in each league to go until the end of a hard-fought season. Although it’s TIGHT at the top of each league I’ll only make BRIEF mention of Tuesdays and SUSPENDER the full report on that until next time, for the current situation is that we’re poised to grab the all-important second spot in the Thursday competition. After inVESTing much time on Sunday afternoons in practice routines it’s come down to whether we can win at home to Matlock Park this week and then KNICKER win on Thursday week at Chatsworth to be able to BASQUE in the final glory.

We’ve had some impressive results, winning six out of our last seven outings to be able to be in this position, some by decent margins and some have gone down to the G-STRING, so BRA-vo to all players for their efforts over these games. Good wins against Baslow, Chatsworth, Youlgrave and Matlock Bath, albeit tempered with a narrow BLOOMER at Hathersage this week have left us looking the side with our SOCKS pulled well up.

It has been a difficult season for conditions. Whilst I’m sure we all welcome a long, hot summer for a change, a lack of rain has inevitably taken a toll on greens. Warm weather has seen many that are a lot faster than would normally be expected, and lack of breeze has caused players to PANT around the various arenas at times. But all credit must go to LONG-JOHN (H) whose tireless efforts have ensured that we have a decent surface to play on, with both mower and clever use of HOSIERY to keep it moist when required. No doubt we’ll be STOCKING up with BOXERS of grass seed to repair patches where necessary in time for next year’s campaign.

So we’ll do what we can to end the season not feeling RIPPED-OFF. We shall GIRDLE our loins. Let’s just make sure we don’t SLIP up; Is it in our own hands? – CORSET is.

M.J.