Patti B writes:
Fame at last. Your obsessed dressage correspondent has finally made it and has reached the dizzying heights of a photo on page 33 of Hello! Magazine. A smallish picture, on the bottom left of the page.
Actually – don’t let’s get carried away – it’s my medal cake that’s in the magazine. (That must have been the guy so rudely elbowing me out of the way to take a photo – only my good manners prevented me from giving him an equally rude mouthful – good job I didn’t!)
Still, it was a lovely surprise and I shall be giving away autographs at some future obscure event for an indescribably huge fee! I can also be seen helping to serve lunch in Parwich Memorial Hall every other Monday, so come along and join the fun – great food for just £5.
Patti B
PARWICH.ORG 
The next thing will be a six page article on the beautiful Mrs PB and her proud husband showing us round their lovely home
I don’t think that’s very likely Marion- you need to be a size 6 and either just newly married, just given birth or holidaying in your private yatch in the Indian Ocean.
Well done Patti, on the strength of your reporting skills at the recent Olympics I might be in a position to put some very lucrative work your way .Firstly there is the Cotswold County tripe hurling championships followed by the annual Lands End To John O’Groats egg and spoon race not to mention the Carpenters and Joiners Dovetail Dash Trophy challenge and wait for it , what promises to be the wedding of the year between a Derbyshire police constable and his W.P.C. fiancee which will be featured in Hello!,Hello! Hello! magazine. Interested?.