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(Thanks to Graham for supplying this post.)

The Grand opening of the superb hard play area on Sunday morning was followed by an equally auspicious event in the afternoon – “The Chairman & Presidents day” organized by the Parwich Tennis Club.

Flushed with success playing for the football team in the opening round robin competition in the morning (oh yes, they really were that desperate), Glynis suggested I would be welcome to turn my hand to an equally alien game of tennis in the afternoon for the open competition which marked the club’s Chairman and Presidents competition. Having already lost all sense of reason, and been subject to anaesthetising levels of public humiliation, I figured that there was little left to lose in terms of personal dignity. After all, it was a pretty miserable day, and the highlight left for me on Sunday was a pre-dinner pint of Pedigree or three, so I hastily agreed. After all, I already had my trainers and track suit on, so I didn’t even have to go home to change.

The enthusiastic members of the tennis club convened at 1:15pm to be addressed by one Lt. Col. Linnell (Nia), who explained and subsequently orchestrated the order of events with the usual cool efficiency of an Officer and mother of four. The format of the competition would be another round robin, this time with 19 players whose ages ranged from 12 to 50, where each player would face 14 short matches of “short tennis”, with the winner being the one who racked up the most points during their respective matches.

This is going to be like taking candy off a baby, I thought – half of the competitors were youngsters, and the rest seemed so nice that when confronted by a ruthless winner (me), they would surely crumple in the face of such determined opposition. And besides, they were so welcoming, and happy that I had joined in, the only difficulty seemed to be coming to terms with my waltzing off with their first prize.

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