Hello Possums,
This week saw the state opening of parliament. For the first time, Her Majesty the Queen was accompanied by Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall. The Prince looked resplendent sporting more medals and orders than the Imperial War Museum, including a frequent flier badge on loan from Prince Andrew. However, some minutes into the proceedings, the Queen was rudely interrupted by an extremely noisy marching band outside.
Slamming down her notes, she stormed outside to remonstrate with them. “Will you lot keep quiet, One is trying to make a speech” she yelled. A burly band master approached and said “Who the **** do you think you are, Dame Helen Mirren?“
The Italians are in the headlines again for doing what they do best, fleecing the tourists, robbery without violence. The Antica Roma ice cream parlour, adjacent to the famous Spanish Steps, charged four Brits £50.00 for three scoops of ice cream, whipped cream extra, toppings
extra, sit down extra, breathe the air extra. The Mayor has apologized profusely and offered the tourists a tour of the city as recompense. Unfortunately luncheon is not included, as the Mayor considers the restaurants a complete rip off.
Slamming down her notes, she stormed outside to remonstrate with them. “Will you lot keep quiet, One is trying to make a speech” she yelled. A burly band master approached and said “Who the **** do you think you are, Dame Helen Mirren?“
extra, sit down extra, breathe the air extra. The Mayor has apologized profusely and offered the tourists a tour of the city as recompense. Unfortunately luncheon is not included, as the Mayor considers the restaurants a complete rip off.


















Everybody basking in the bank holiday sunshine? You might be battling with your BBQ, cursing yourself for not cleaning it last time you used it, or having a quiet word with your cantankerous lawn mower. Never mind, crack open a tinny me old cobber, and watch the world go by.
A man has discovered a human ear whilst walking his dog in a graveyard. Police have cordoned off the grounds of St Mary the Virgin Church in Aylesbury, and are treating it as a potential crime scene. The coroner has ruled that a proper hearing is out of the question until the other ear is found. 

















